No Drama.

Almost four weeks ago when I decided that I needed to lose weight, I decided that I needed to get drama out my life, so that I could minimize my emotional eating episodes. Thus I disassociate myself from anyone that I thought was getting on my nerves and tried to reconnect with friends and family that I knew are kind and supportive. In this way I thought I could prevent drama. Little did I know that I was creating another drama on another front, lol, ignoring my school project.

After the semester was over, I gave myself a long weekend to recuperate from my finals and the fiasco that was my roommates situation. Than the following week I half hardly did some school work, but the following two weeks almost nothing! Last Monday I even cancelled on my advisor with the excuse that I was very tired. But I know if I had something to show him, I would have gone to our meeting no matter how tired I was. Couple of cups of coffees and pastries would get the tiredness out of me for a few hours, wouldn't it, lol! But then I got an email from him Saturday afternoon that he was pushing back our meeting this week from Monday to Wednesday. I didn't read much to it when I first read the email, but then I panicked. I thought to myself what if he drops me as his student, what am I going to do? Obviously, I would have dropped me too seeing that I was slacking off.

I am not sure if it was because of the stress or did I pull a muscle or something but my neck started hurting and it went to my head. Beautiful I thought. So I popped more Advil, more on that later, and continued my work at the gym in a panic mode.

Sunday night I decided that I needed to get my act together. I decided that for the next two days I was going to concentrate on my school project and only that. No more visiting websites, no more reading about diet, illness, recipes, chick lits. No more sewing, checking out patterns and fabrics. No more watching TV, or raiding my parents DVD collection. I decided I wasn't going to the gym on Monday for cardio as I had been doing in the past two weeks, and I was not going to have lunch with my grandma and sewing lessons after that on Tuesday. I skipped gym and rescheduled with my grandma for today.

I woke up just before 7 am on Monday and started working. I went nonstop until midnight; seriously, worked 17 hours straight. Didn't even cook, but eat every couple of hours. Yes, I must have eaten close to 2000 calories, but I didn't care. I needed to be able to function, so I eat. What was important to me was that it was no emotional eating. When I eat it was real hunger. Anyhow I survived on Atkins bars and shakes, banana, peanut butter, Greek yogurt, Cheerios, watermelon, and omelet.

On Tuesday I woke up before 6 am all excited. Sometimes I find it hard to start working on a project, but once I got into it, it is hard for me to stop, I just lose track of time. It was the same when I was working. My ex knew when I had gotten into my project and he made sure he called me everyday around 6 pm reminding me to come home; otherwise I would have been at my desk until 9 or 10 pm.  Anyhow, Tuesday I worked from 6 am until 10 pm and I felt all cut up on my project. No more drama for me hopefully.

You see, I am the kind of person that if I can do something today I wouldn't leave it for tomorrow. Most of the time I carry a notebook with me, habit I developed while working, most of the time on multiple projects, went to lots of meetings, and hated when people brought their laptops and clicked their keyboards all through the meeting, I thought it was very distracting. Anyhow, in my notebook I always have a to-do-list, and I can't wait to finish a task so that I can cross it off my list; it is very gratifying.

Once in a while the little kid in me takes over, lol, and prevents me from checking my to-do-list, adding or crossing off items. That is what happened in the previous few weeks, but thankfully I am all cut up now.

I had my meeting with my advisor this morning, it went well. I am very relaxed and happy now. I don't know it is because I started my day off with 45 minutes yoga this morning, or because of my good meeting with my advisor, or because I had lunch with my grandma (she always put me in a good mood), whatever the reason I am happy and relaxed now.

Anyhow, I got my notebook out, and made two lists, side by side. One itemized task I have to do for my school project, I feel that the more specific I am with my tasks, the easier it is for me to do them. If I just say work on your school project, it backfires, lol. And the other list is everything else, including cooking, sewing, exercising, watching TV, hanging out with my best friend, visiting grandma, calling/texting/emailing my parents and friends, posting to my blog, etc. My goal is to cross off the same number of items from each list.

How I love crossing out the tasks I accomplished from my to-do-lists.